Healthy Tips for Moms to Navigate Your Child's Tantrums.
- Sasha Anton
- Aug 26, 2024
- 5 min read
Updated: May 2
Hey there beautiful Moms! Let's chat about a very common struggle!
We've all been there.... Those moments when our little ones seem to be taken over by an emotional storm, leaving us feeling helpless and frustrated. Tantrums are a natural part of childhood, but they can be challenging to manage, especially when we're juggling a million other things.

The good news is that there are healthy, effective ways to handle these outbursts that can help both you and your child navigate the emotional waves more smoothly.
Here are some tips to help you manage tantrums with patience and care.
It's not easy, I know! But I promise you will probably have better results this way.
1. Stay Calm and Composed:
Your child’s tantrum is not a reflection of your parenting. When you remain calm, it sets the tone for the situation. Take deep breaths, count to ten, or step away for a moment if needed. Your calmness will help your child feel safe and understood, even in their most intense moments.
2. Acknowledge Their Feelings:
Children often throw tantrums because they feel unheard or misunderstood. Get down to their level, make eye contact, and acknowledge their feelings. Say something like, “I see that you’re really upset right now,” or “I know you’re frustrated because…” This helps them feel validated and can sometimes diffuse the situation.
3. Set Clear and Consistent Boundaries
While it’s important to be empathetic, it’s equally important to set clear boundaries. Let your child know that it’s okay to be upset, but certain behaviors—like hitting or screaming—are not acceptable. Be consistent with these boundaries so your child knows what to expect.
4. Offer Choices
Giving your child a sense of control can help reduce the intensity of their emotions. Offer simple choices, like “Would you like to play with your blocks or read a book?” This empowers them to make decisions and can redirect their focus away from the tantrum.
5. Use Distraction
Sometimes, the best way to handle a tantrum is to distract your child. Engage them in a new activity or redirect their attention to something they enjoy. This can quickly shift their mood and help them forget what they were upset about.
6. Practice Deep Breathing Together
Teach your child simple breathing exercises that they can use to calm down. Show them how to take deep breaths by inhaling through the nose and exhaling through the mouth. Practicing this together can be a fun and effective way to manage emotions.
7. Provide a Safe Space
Create a calm corner or a safe space in your home where your child can go to cool down. Fill it with comforting items like a favorite stuffed animal, a cozy blanket, or calming music. Encourage them to go there when they feel overwhelmed.
8. Reflect on the Tantrum Afterwards
Once your child has calmed down, take a moment to reflect on what happened. Talk to them about their feelings and discuss better ways to handle similar situations in the future. This helps them learn from the experience and builds their emotional intelligence.
9. Take Care of Yourself
Dealing with tantrums can be exhausting, so it’s crucial to take care of your own emotional well-being. Make time for self-care, whether it’s a short walk, reading a book, or simply taking a few minutes to breathe. When you’re well-rested and emotionally balanced, you’re better equipped to handle your child’s outbursts.
10. Seek Support When Needed
If tantrums are becoming overwhelming or you’re struggling to cope, don’t hesitate to seek support. Whether it’s talking to a trusted friend, joining a parenting group, or consulting a child psychologist, getting help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
What Not to Do and Why
While there are many positive strategies to help manage tantrums, there are also certain actions to avoid. These can sometimes make the situation worse or have long-term negative effects on your child’s emotional development.
1. Don’t Give In to Demands
Ive been guilty of this but try not to do it. When your child throws a tantrum to get something they want, giving in might seem like the easiest way to stop the outburst. However, this teaches them that tantrums are an effective way to get what they want, reinforcing the behavior. Instead, stand firm on your boundaries while showing empathy for their feelings.
2. Don’t Yell or Lose Your Temper
Responding to a tantrum with anger only escalates the situation. It can make your child more frightened, and it teaches them that shouting is an acceptable way to handle strong emotions. Keeping your voice calm and controlled helps to de-escalate the situation and models good emotional regulation.
3. Don’t Ignore Your Child Completely
While it’s important not to give in, completely ignoring your child during a tantrum can make them feel abandoned and misunderstood. Instead, offer comfort and support without rewarding the tantrum behavior. Let them know you’re there for them when they’re ready to calm down.
4. Don’t Bribe Them to Stop
Offering a treat or toy to stop a tantrum might seem like a quick fix, but it can create a cycle where your child expects a reward every time they get upset. This undermines the lesson that tantrums are not an appropriate way to express frustration. Instead, focus on teaching them healthier ways to communicate their feelings.
5. Don’t Take It Personally
It’s easy to feel frustrated or even embarrassed when your child throws a tantrum, especially in public. However, taking it personally can lead to overreacting or becoming overly harsh. Remember, tantrums are a normal part of child development. Stay focused on guiding your child through the moment rather than worrying about what others think.
Here are the top three books I recommend for understanding and managing tantrums:
You can click the titles to shop.
"The Whole-Brain Child" by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson
This book is essential for understanding how your child's brain develops and how you can use that knowledge to help them manage their emotions and behavior more effectively.
"No-Drama Discipline" by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson
A practical guide that complements The Whole-Brain Child, focusing specifically on discipline strategies that nurture and teach rather than punish, helping you handle tantrums more peacefully.
"How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk" by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
A classic resource for improving communication with your child, which is key to preventing and managing tantrums by making your child feel understood and valued.
These three books provide a strong foundation for both understanding the underlying causes of tantrums and developing effective, compassionate strategies to manage them.
Tantrums are a normal part of childhood, but with the right strategies, you can help your child navigate these challenging moments in a healthy way. By staying calm, setting clear boundaries, and teaching your child emotional regulation, you’ll not only manage tantrums more effectively but also build a stronger, more resilient bond with your little one.
Remember, you’re not alone in this journey! Every mom faces these challenges, and together, we can handle them with grace and love and that way we will race emotionally intelligent humans that will build a kinder and more empathetic society.
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